overfamiliar customer service=icky

So, I had to go to the bank on Saturday to deal with some random money stuff that online banking doesn't cover. I can't even wait in line for a teller; I have to sit and wait for someone at a desk.

After waiting a while, it's finally my turn. I sit down and right away, I can tell it's going to be an exercise in frustration. The bank guy is really chummy with me and not in a professional way, in a smarmy "That Guy" way. Well, because I am grumpy from having to drag my ass out of the apartment to deal with the rejects who get stuck working at the bank on Saturday, I am having none of it. He keeps trying to engage me and I give him nothing. He's so busy chatting and smarming at me, that he fucks up what he's trying to do on the computer and has to redo it by hand.

In retrospect, I think I was presenting him with a challenge. Something about my total lack of response to him (answering in monosyllables, making no eye contact, etc.) just made him even more smarmy/chatty. Out of nowhere, he starts telling me about how he went out last night and asking me if I like beer.

And here's where I maybe went a little too far. Here's what I said:

"I'm sorry, but I'm in a bit of a rush and, while I don't want to be rude, I also don't need to be friends with you."

The good news is that this shut him up completely and I was out of there, with my business done, literally, 45 seconds later.

The bad news is that this guy does have access to my bank accounts.

job blah

Man, my job is boring the crap out of me. I really like my boss and everyone I work with, but there's just nothing new to learn and the stuff I'm doing is not interesting. Somehow, the fact that there is another, more interesting job twinkling on the horizon makes my day to day grind even more mind-numbing.

I've been quasi-offered an AP position for the new show we're producing, but the job only exists if we sell the show. And it hasn't sold yet. It has not sold for the last eight months. So, on the positive side, people here like me and want to promote me. The negative side is that I have no idea when or even if my exodus from assistant-land will begin. Being in limbo sucks.

101 in 1001 update

64. Win a multi-table poker tournament (anywhere, casino or online). -- Completed 8/20/05.

After making the money in a few of Pokertropolis's 99 cent events, I tried my luck at a few $5 +.50 tournaments. While i mostly play NL tourneys, I signed up for the 8 pm Limit event on Saturday and, 3 hours later, I won it when my 89 cracked the other guy's AA. (I flopped two pair.) I'm up over $200 at Pokertropolis and I haven't put in any money. (I had free entries into the 99 cent events.)

Yay, poker!

meth labs ruin it for everyone

So, Target has moved all their decongestants behind the pharmacist and has stopped carrying all the ones that work for me and my poor angry sinuses. Just because the same drugs that keep my sinuses from exploding out my face are also used to make the crystal, I now have to hunt and scrounge (like a drug addict - oh, the irony) for my beautiful Alieve Sinus Headache and my Lovey, Actifed.

Nothing to it but to do it -- I'm going to start hoarding. I just hope the meth lab people don't find out and steal my stash.

three things in five days

Only 98 more to go!

Completed:

49. Finish this list. I know this seems like a gimmee, but I’ve been working on this list off and on for a couple of weeks now and the end is just not in sight.

Actually counting this is kind of lame, but whatever. It's done.

54. Get a pedicure.

The little asian lady hurt my feet, but it was worth it to have cute toes again.

72. Buy a new swimsuit. The underwire is poking out of the only suit I own that even almost fits me.

It's a hot pink bikini. Which sounds a lot sexier than it looks, sadly. At least it fits and isn't falling apart/poking me in the boob.

Next up, going to Cobras & Matadors for Heather's birthday. #30, I have you in my sights.

101 in 1001

I resisted for a long time, but then I just couldn't fight it anymore. Everybody else I know has already jumped off this cliff, so I have no other alternative but to lemming my way after them. Here it is, my list of 101 things I want to do in 1001 days:

1. Work out 4 times a week for a month straight, at least once at the gym every week.
2. Wash the dishes in my sink. I have washed the dishes a few times since 2005. Not many, but a few. I'm Carrie, I'm disgusting.
3. Wash them as I go for an entire month. Okay, let’s be realistic – a week.
4. Get down to a size 8. Completed 7/1/06 -- Thank you, THE BET.
5. Get another stamp in my passport.
6. Renew my passport.
7. Hang up the pictures in my apartment – no more naked walls.
8. Read the two Sklansky poker books I bought.
9. Get a raise at work. -- Completed 10/26/05 (combined w/ #10)
10. Get a promotion at work. -- Completed 10/26/05. I'm now Associate Producer on the new show.

11. Visit my sister and her husband in DC. Completed 6/8/07. My nephew is the cutest boy in all the land.
12. Get into or start a regular poker game. -- Completed. I've been playing in a Friday lunchtime game for a couple of months now. The buy-in is low, but...baby steps.
13. Go to Europe.
14. Go on another cruise.
15. Buy a piece of furniture to put my purse & keys on when I walk in the back door. Completed 12/29/05 -- Thank you, IKEA.
16. Buy an ink cartridge for my printer. -- Completed 11/1/06. Well, I couldn't find the colored cartridge so I bought a new printer. I'm still counting it because now I can print.
17. Defrost my freezer. The situation is getting grim in there. I had to chisel my box of baking soda out of the forming glacier. Completed 5/29/06.
18. Join the Junior Hollywood Society of Radio & Television.
19. Buy a wireless router for my apartment. Bought, yes. Hooked up, no.
20. Go to the midnight sing-along movie at the Nuart. Or is it at the Hollywood Bowl? Figure out where these movie sing-alongs take place and then go to one. completed 6/30/07. Went to the Sound of Music sing-a-long at the Bowl. I sang myself hoarse.
21. Go to see the Dead Hensons when they come back to LA.
22. Go to Catalina by ferry.
23. Ride in a helicopter.
24. Go to Hawaii.
25. Take a free AVID class at Montana Edit or somewhere similar.
26. Go to Fat Fish for happy hour sushi.
27. Do not move out of my apartment unless it’s to buy a place.
28. Buy a place.
29. Explore LA beyond my own neighborhood.
30. Try more new bars and restaurants. It can’t be all Vermont and Luna Park.
31. Go to some upscale yard sales with Heather.
32. Eat more brunch.
33. Take a pilates class at the gym.
34. Take a boxing technique class at the gym.
35. Become an aunt. (I love this one. I don’t have to do anything but think baby-growing thoughts for my sister.) Completed March 4, 2006.
36. Get a ceiling fan installed in my bedroom. Completed 6/25/07. It's so awesome, I can't even tell you.
37. Get a mentor.
38. Start a script development side business.
39. Donate my old computer. The Salvation Army wouldn't take it, so I listed it for free on craigslist. Five seconds later, I had 23 emails.
40. Take my shoes in to be re-heeled. Completed 12/30/05. Jessica's cobbler is AWESOME.
41. Take my new jeans in to be hemmed and take my Chip & Pepper jeans in to have the belt loop sewn back on. Completed 12/30/05. Now I just have to wait until the alterations are done...
42. Buy a pair of capri pants that don’t look ridiculous on me. Completed February 2006.

43. Get a maid. Well really, be able to afford and then get a maid.
44. Go to a museum or two. The Basquiat show at MOCA would be a good place to start.
45. Figure out what I want to do with my life.
46. Meet more men, in the hopes that I will like one of them enough to give him access to the secret pocket, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
47. Take a good old-fashioned road trip, where I eat at truck stops and sleep at random motels.
48. Win the lottery.
49. Finish this list. I know this seems like a gimmee, but I’ve been working on this list off and on for a couple of weeks now and the end is just not in sight. -- Completed 8/10/05
50. Write more, in this blog and in general.
51. Learn to let mistakes go instead of rehashing them over and over in my mind. Once I’ve decided what I should have done, I would like to just stop thinking about it.
52. Stop being such a fucking bossy know-it-all. I used to be much worse about this, but it’s still a struggle not to tell people what to do and how to do it.
53. Learn more chip tricks. I can riffle chips with either hand (not to brag) but I’d like to be able to do a couple more tricks.
54. Get a pedicure. -- Completed 8/5/05
55. Get a facial.
56. Get laser hair removal.
57. List books I don’t want for sale on half.com. -- Completed 1/2/06

58. Get a Los Angeles library card. I have a Beverly Hills one, but I should have both.
59. Load more music onto my iPod. Thanks to my lovely sister, I have 50 fantastic songs to download for my birthday.
60. Buy a cover for my iPod, maybe with an arm strap so I can look that much cooler when I’m working out. Since the big boy iPod doesn't come with a belt clip, I bought a case for it that has a clip (and an arm strap).
61. Buy a recharger for my iPod mini so I can charge it up without hooking it to my laptop. Completed 12/18/05 -- Thanks Jen (aka HSW).
62. Pick a signature cocktail that can be ordered anywhere (I love me some mojitos and margaritas, but they are only good at places that specialize in them).
63. Enter a poker tournament in a brick and mortar casino. Completed 7/12/06 -- WSOP Ladies Event kicked my ass.
64. Win a multi-table poker tournament (anywhere, casino or online). -- Completed 8/20/05.
65. Put my Lazy Girl web pages back online somewhere.
66. See more movies. I used to go every week but, now that I’m poor and they are so expensive, I’ve just stopped going. Maybe one movie a month is a good middle ground. I'm going to mark this completed since I've seen Knocked Up, Ratatouille and Harry Potter V in the last few months.
67. Eat Dim Sum in Chinatown.
68. Organize all the crap in my apartment – beauty supplies, books, etc.
69. Go through my closet and drawers; donate everything I don’t wear to Good Will.
70. Read the Abs Diet book that I talked my mom into buying me.
71. Make at least one dish from the recipes included in the Abs Diet book.
72. Buy a new swimsuit. The underwire is poking out of the only suit I own that even almost fits me. -- Completed 8/4/05
73. Finally take my comforter to be professionally cleaned. It’s been in a giant garbage bag since I had to quarantine it during flea-gate 2004. Hmm, well I did a 180 on this one. I bought a new comforter and threw out the old slightly ratty, potentially still flea-infested one. Screw it, I'm counting it as complete. Completed 1/02/06.
74. Find and buy a purse I love as much as I do my fabulous orange bag, which is sadly getting worn-out along the edges. -- Completed 10/22/05. It's purple!
75. Try and get my fabulous orange bag repaired. Does the shoe guy do that?
76. Bring my lunch to work more often, meaning EVER.
77. Eat breakfast every day. I did this for a while and I need to get back to it.
78. Switch gyms to the one near my apartment.
79. Find a good mechanic.
80. Get the dings buffed out/filled in/whatever on my car. Ha! Instead of getting these minor cosmetic things fixed, I just bought a new car. What is WRONG with me? Can I count this as complete? Or do I wait until I have dings in the new car? Ummm, completed 12/29/05.
81. Clean out and vacuum the inside of my car. Well, I cleaned out the old car before I traded it in. Can I count this? Man, this is a slippery slope... Completed 12/29/05.
82. Get my car washed. -- Completed 10/21/05. The only silver lining in having to take my car into the dealership for service. The world's most expensive car wash.
83. Donate my time to a cause I believe in.
84. Clean my apartment top to bottom, behind and under furniture, tile grout, windows and frames – the works.
85. Buy new workout clothes that fit me.
86. Buy a new set of sheets to replace the ones that the cat is systematically destroying, one clawed thread at a time. Completed 1/1/06.
87. Buy a roomba. My kingdom for a roomba!
88. Play poker in Vegas at Excalibur, Aladdin and, once I’m good enough, Bellagio.
89. Cash the savings bonds from my Bat Mitzvah. Twenty years is long enough to hold onto them, I think.
90. Learn to play Omaha Hold ‘Em and Omaha Hi-Lo.
91. Be better about keeping in touch with people outside of my immediate circle. I have the unfortunate habit of letting people slip out of my life once I’m not seeing them regularly.
92. Clean the table out on my shared patio and buy some waterproof cushions for the chairs and a heavy plastic tablecloth. Basically, make it usable for eating and hanging out, instead of gross and dirty (its current state).
93. Buy a plant and keep it alive.
94. Get the band on the watch I inherited from my grandmother replaced.
95. Write a novel. (Step 1: think of a good idea for a novel…)
96. See more comedians in concert. I’m seeing Seinfeld in September. Hopefully, that will be the start of a new trend.
97. Go to a professional tennis match.
98. Buy more dangly earrings. -- Completed 10/29/05. Well, it's one more pair and one more IS more. 1/2/06: Update -- I've since bought 4 more pairs of dangly earrings, so COMPLETED X 4.
99. Organize all my various piles of papers into files in my filing cabinet and throw out/shred all the extraneous papers I don’t need.
100. Buy a shredder. -- Completed 10/1/05.
101. Get regular haircuts to keep the same style instead of letting it grow out and get all shaggy until I can’t stand it any more.

What does it say about me that this list is all playing poker and spending money?

mega schmega

So, they are coming out with new "Mega" M&Ms that are 55% bigger than standard M&Ms. I have two problems with this.

1. The world does not need differently sized M&Ms. They are the perfect size already. I can tolerate the mini M&Ms because people are programmed to love anything tiny. (I, myself, have fallen under the spell of the tiny diet coke cans.) We don't need a bigger M&M. We don't want a bigger M&M. The whole point of the M&M is that it is exactly enough candy to satisfy, either individually or by the handfull. The "Mega" version just gives the consumer less flexibility in portion size.

2. I dispute the use of the descriptor "Mega." The new candy is only going to be half again as big as the current one. That's just not big enough to warrant "Mega."

My final analysis: The only thing lamer than this new version of M&M is the fact that I've spent this much brainpower thinking about it.